Day 2: Check!

Just a quick update this morning to let you know that Day 2 this round is going much better so far! I had nausea last night, but it went away once I took medicine. So, I was worried today was going to be rough. Just have the darned headache again, but, thankfully no nausea. I am more worried about Tom this week. Neither of us is sleeping good at night. He told me he is worried about me and himself. He is worried about his own recurrence now. He is still in the window of a possible recurrence. I would tell him not to worry about it until we have to, but with our luck, it is not out of the realm of possibility!! Ugh! I think everything is just hitting him this week. I feel bad/sad for him, but I am glad he is dealing with it. He is always so strong and positive and optimistic that I was worried he wouldn’t deal with things. Glad he is letting me in a little. We’ve always made a good team, and this will just make us stronger. Anyway, I am cleaning today, so I am glad I am feeling good, ahead of my mom and sister’s arrival on Tuesday!! Looking forward to making some memories. I have been trying to come up with something involving memories to help me whenever my time comes. I want to go with memories in my head. When my Aunt Deb was dying, her family had everyone send texts and memories, and they would read them to her. Thought that was really special for all of them. I will keep thinking about something I want to do with memories. I also have always planned on making memory cookbooks for my kids with all their favorite recipes. I had planned on making them for each kid’s graduation, but I missed Tomasz’s. It is so hard to think I will not be there for all their big moments in life, I will never know my grandkids, etc., but that is life, and life is not fair. My kids know that well. But, they will have something from me and memories of making and eating those foods together, and it will be a way to keep me close throughout their lives, right there in their kitchens, the heart of the home. I already have the books. I just need to sit down and go through all my recipes and write down all the memories. There are so many beautiful cookbooks you can make out there now, but Aleks says she wants the simple Happy Planner books I got for them. My grandma had this thing when we were growing up that if we wanted something after she died, we would tell her, and she’d write our name on it. Peter uses a red coffee cup of mine (my favorite … grrrr!, but he loves it so I have surrendered it!) I told him the other day I would put his name on it. And that coffee cup is a symbol of memories — I got that cup on a trip to see one of my good friends in Arizona. It holds good memories for me, and now it will hold memories for Peter. Should be a good week of making memories with my family. I will be tired. I nap every afternoon, so I might not be able to keep up, but that is why they are coming, to help me out. I am not good at taking the help; I feel guilty and tend to get a little depressed, but I need to learn to accept the help and listen to my body and rest when I need to. Will post again on Friday for Chemo #3.