My Next Chapter

I am writing today instead of at Chemo tomorrow because tomorrow is my short day with just Chemo, and sometimes I have to rush to get through my post because that 1/2 hour that my chemo runs goes so quickly. Plus, I am just feeling so full of life after meeting with bestselling author Mary Blayney yesterday. I find it very ironic that the saying above popped on my feed yesterday because I am so full of hope this week, and after my doctor appt. last week, and after meeting Mary yesterday that I dare to dream of the future again, of my next chapter. I am feeling like I can live with this metastatic cancer daily now. I am not going to let it define me anymore. Mary told me yesterday that she was impressed with how I am handling this. I had a doctor tell me once that if he had gotten the news I did, he wouldn’t be so upbeat. I don’t know how to take these comments. Am I supposed to wallow in self-pity for the rest of my life? No, I refuse to do that. I am going to live, and I am going to live happier than I have ever been. Is my life perfect? Absolutely not. But cancer, especially metastatic cancer, has taught me to live and enjoy life, no matter what the circumstances. Anyway, when I met Mary (Did I mention she is good friends with Nora Roberts?!), I realized that writing full time is what I want to do; it’s what I have always wanted to do. She was so encouraging and inspiring, and I got excited about the possibility of a new career. Part of me thought about how unfair it will be to start this new career but to have it cut short when there are so many things I want to write and that I am passionate about. I have been given this incredible opportunity to learn from Mary, and it has made me look to the future with hope again. I have learned so much about “faith” through having breast cancer, and I have now learned so much about “hope” through having metastatic breast cancer that I am almost grateful for this experience because it has taught me how to live and hope. At least, I mean, if I have to have this experience, it has really taught me a lot, and, so far, it has been the best possible cancer journey I could have. I am so grateful for the experience I have had, if I have to have cancer. I am thinking of a friend who is losing her mom to cancer as I write this. My heart aches for both of them. I know that cancer journeys are different for everyone, and I pray that her mom’s is peaceful. I struggle often with why some people get to live and some people have to die, but I have to have faith in God’s plan. And after meeting with Mary, my plan is to write my heart out every day that I can. I am going to do what I love for the rest of my life. I believe Mary came into my life at just the right time.