Livin' On A Prayer
Heard this song on the two-hour drive to Walter Reed this morning — traffic was horrendous today. Kim and I were reminiscing about good times growing up with Bon Jovi on in the background. I have been having nightmares the past few nights that I am dying. I think I have been watching the news too much about Shannen Doherty’s cancer. Doctors are all giving their insights into metastatic cancer, and the statistics are not good. It has helped me to stay away from the internet and statistics these past several months. I had my doctor appt. today with my nurse practitioner who ordered the CT scan that detected my cancer. I owe my life to her. It was good to see her again. She is so very thorough. It is sobering to me when I have doctors’ visits. They are very factual and realistic, and my optimism isn’t so great on the days I have doctor’s visits. So a doctor’s visit, combined with my nightmares, has me in a little funk today. The doctor visit itself was great. Again, she is so thorough and has ordered a bunch of labs and tests to try to figure out what is going on with my swollen feet and ankles. She thinks it could likely be from the immunotherapy and could possibly be related to my fast heart rate, related to the immunotherapy. I have had a fast heart rate for years and have seen two cardiologists who said it was fine. So, I am glad she is checking into it further. She also wrote a referral for me to palliative care — not hospice like many people think . She said people who go through palliative care live longer both during treatment and in hospice, so I am on board! I’m interested in what they might be able to do for me. So, I will have an echocardiogram, more bloodwork and my second scan within this next cycle. Then, I will meet with my doctor, who has been on deployment since my diagnosis, in four weeks. I am looking forward to seeing her again and hearing what she has to say and seeing what my scan results are. I am nervous about dropping the Chemo today. We are in uncharted waters now. I just pray that this immunotherapy works on its own. The nurse practitioner explained to me that breast cancer doesn’t have as good of a response to immunotherapy as do other “hot” cancers (breast cancer is more of a “cold” cancer), but triple negative cancer has shown promise with it, so that’s why the study was done. Now, that I have gone through six cycles, there is no more information, so it is a bit scary. So, I feel like I am just livin’ on a prayer, praying that this immunotherapy works this cycle and for a long time. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 Will update again next Friday, even though I am on immunotherapy every two weeks now!! Woo hoo!