At Peace
I had a blah day today, a Pajama Day, and laid on the couch all day. I was really nauseated. I took both nausea meds I have at home, and it didn’t help. I had a headache and my muscles and joints hurt. Not sure if it was too much having chemo/immuno on one day and my scan the next?? Or if chemo is just starting to get a little rougher the longer I’m on it? But, I am feeling a bit better after taking some Advil tonight. In any case, it gave me lots of time to keep checking my patient portal all day today for the results of my PET/CT scan yesterday! I got the report tonight. I have not talked to my doctor yet. I have an appointment with him to go over results early next week. But, from what I can tell, my sternum still has a lesion that is stable, and some lymph nodes lit up on the PET scan, but they think it is more of an infection than metastasis. Other than that, nothing new!! So, I am really happy with the results!! I would be even happier if I felt a little better. Lately, Day Two after chemo has been my bad day, so I’m on track today. Hopefully, I’ll be feeling back to normal tomorrow, and the good news will sink in. I am thrilled I will have a few months free from worry now, and I can be at peace.
We went to the Les Colombes exhibit at the National Cathedral. Doves symbolize hope and peace, so I really wanted to see them since those are two of my words for this leg of my cancer journey. There were 2000 origami doves suspended in the air. The stained glass windows cast beautiful colored light onto them. It was ever-changing and beautiful from different perspectives, and it definitely filled me with hope and peace that I need right now and that we all so need right now. And, tonight, I can sleep a bit more peacefully than I could with last night’s scanxiety, and I can keep hoping in my miracle. I’ve decided that no matter how much longer I get on this earth, I have already been given a miracle by all this time I have already been given. I always say I’m on “bonus time” now, and with a great scan and after seeing the doves, I have hope for more now.