New Month, New Year
Today, I tore off the month of May on my big desk calendar. I keep tearing pages off as the months are going by so quickly, and each month, I hate doing that because it makes me wonder how many more months or years I’ll have. Yet I am amazed and blessed I am still here. I’m still on Bonus Time. This weekend, we will move into June, and on Monday, I will turn 49 years old. There was a time when I never thought I’d see 49, that I was never expected to see 49. So, while it will be hard turning 49, just one year shy of the big 5-0, my last year in my forties, I am so blessed to be here to have another birthday. I will celebrate being able to turn 49, and yet I will be glad to leave my 40s behind on my next birthday. I am ready to look ahead to another decade, one that will, hopefully, not be summed up with the word: Cancer.
I can describe all my decades in one word:
0-10 years old: Family Time
These years were spent building relationships with my huge extended family. My mom had eight siblings, and my dad had two, so I had lots of aunts and uncles and cousins. We were all close throughout my childhood.
10-20 years old: Friends Time
These years were spent building relationships with my big, close group of friends. I still have this close group of friends, and they have really been there for me during cancer. Now one of them is in Heaven, and I know he’s looking out for me and the rest of us.
20-30 years old: Me Time
These were the best years of my life. I moved to Newport News, VA, to work at the newspaper right after college and have been on an adventure ever since. I met my husband and was introduced to the Coast Guard, which opened up the world to me.
30-40 years old: Kids Time
These years were another kind of adventure! These years were the most challenging years of my life, going from no kids to three all at once, none of whom spoke English! On top of adjusting to our new family life, we were moving our family every two to three years. It was a decade of survival, but it was kind of like Survivor in Paradise when we were stationed in Key West!
40-50 years old: Cancer Time
As I was thinking about turning 50 and reflecting on my 40s, it hit me that I have been dealing with cancer for a decade! I was 39 when I was diagnosed originally with Stage 2 Triple Negative Breast Cancer, and I had my first chemo session on my 40th birthday. It kind of stinks that I’ve been dealing with cancer for an entire decade, and that’s what I think of when I think of my 40s, but I’m really lucky and blessed to have lived through my 40s and to have been dealing with it for that long. Many people don’t get that long of a life or of a battle. So, instead of grudging into my 49th birthday, I am going to go into it excited that I made it to 49 and excited for the next decade. My grandma, who died this past year, told me once when I was growing up and I had picked up her copy of the book Passages and was flipping though it, that she had enjoyed every stage of her life. Every stage was different, and she embraced everything about each new decade. I can understand that having been part of a military family. When I first married into the military, I vowed to enjoy things about each place we would be stationed. And so I did. Charleston was hard after having to leave Key West, but I still enjoyed it, and we had lots of good adventures there. So, I’m going to think about how lucky I am on Monday to be celebrating another birthday, another month, and another year. This birthday will not be about gifts or cake (I want wine slushies at the vineyard instead!) or decorations; this will truly be a celebration of life for me.
Stay safe and healthy, everyone! And have a nice weekend!