And So We Meet Again

My scan is coming up Monday. The scanxiety is starting to hit me a little. I’m not really nervous or anxious about this scan; I’m just more interested in seeing what the results are. I want to know if my cancer comes right back if I’m not on treatment. If it doesn’t, it gives me more hope of living cancer free for a longer period of time. I’m starting to go a little stir crazy at home as an empty nester. If my scan comes back clear, I might apply for a part time job. I am thinking a remote editing or proofreading job would be perfect and flexible for a metastatic cancer patient.

I had to get my port flushed and get some bloodwork a couple of days ago. My doctor ordered nine tubes of blood! So, I will be waiting on the results of the bloodwork and my scan this week, as well as the results from my biopsy/surgery this upcoming Wednesday! I am going to be super busy this week, so that will help curb the scanxiety. And on Thursday, I will meet with my oncologist for the first time since the pulmonary embolisms. I’m so glad she’s being so thorough ordering all that bloodwork. I was talking to a pre-op nurse, and she said so many patients leave my oncologist’s office smiling and saying such good things about her. I’m really lucky to have her as my oncologist. So, no matter the results of this scan, I feel confident in her care.

So, my upcoming week:

M-Scan

Tu-Adoration at church – will be praying for a clear scan!!

W-Surgery

Th-Oncologist Appt.

F-My first pilates class! I have all my energy back, and my iWatch has been telling me I’ve been improving in my fitness every week, so I am loving getting back into good health. My son is back home with us until he finds a new job now. We picked him up at the airport last night, and he is still into walking ahead of us (teenagers!!) and took the stairs instead of the elevator. Stairs have been my biggest nemesis since cancer, so I was doubtful, but they were fairly easy for the first time in nearly a decade of cancer treatment!!! I was sooooo happy at the top of those stairs! Anyway, I’m pretty excited about the pilates class, so it’s something to look forward to after a big week.

I have been thinking a lot about gratitude as this scan approaches and my five-year mark as a metastatic cancer patient looms in July. I’m telling myself that no matter what this scan shows, and even if I have to start treatment again, I will be grateful – grateful for all the bonus time I’ve been on and grateful for all my supporters who will help me get through whatever I will go through.  I think the biggest blessing of cancer has been receiving all the support I have realized I have.

I have the support of constant, lifelong friends and family, those people who will drop anything at any time for me, those people who know just exactly what I need.

I have the support of what I call “at the time friends,” those who have been my friends at whatever time and place I have been in.

I have the support of acquaintances, those people who have surprised me who I don’t know well but who really care.

And I have the support of those people you see every day who you get to know and care about, the ones you look forward to seeing -- the ones like your Starbucks barista or the commissary cashier, the ones who make such a difference in your day, in your life, with their beautiful, sincere smiles and kind words.

And I’ve come to realize the support of strangers that I have, those who read my blog and keep up with my journey, those who have shared their own journeys with me.

So, I just wanted to say thank you for all of your support. You’ve truly been blessings in my life. You have blessed me and supported me in so many different, special, surprising ways. And it has been constant. When I first got cancer, I knew it would be a long road, and I knew that once the initial “phase” was over, I’d still need support. When everyone was asking how they could help, I just asked for people to stay in touch and check in with me once in a while. I have one friend who has texted me practically every week to check in on me since 2015! Ironically, I was initially diagnosed with breast cancer on her birthday. It has meant the world to me. And so does all of your support. You have been with me through all the ups and downs of cancer, and your support has been constant and growing. So, thank you. I know I will be OK with whatever my scan results reveal. I will let you all know all the results I get this week. Stay safe and healthy, everyone!