Looking Forward
Sorry I haven’t updated in a while. I have had so many doctor appointments lately that I am tired of everything and haven’t felt like writing. I just want to get on with living life and healing while I’m on this chemo break. I had a doctor appt. again today, and the result is that I need to have something removed and biopsied and another procedure at the same time, so I will have a little surgery on May 6. Praying the biopsy results are negative. I will have my echocardiogram tomorrow, and then I can put everything that has been going on since starting my chemo break behind me. I am still having shortness of breath all day long, so I am still wondering if I have some cardiotoxicity from so many years on my chemo, but I’m not going to worry about it right now. I’ll ask my oncologist about it at my next appt. with her in May. I just will be wary of going back on chemo again, and I want to avoid ones that are known to cause cardiotoxicity. I am so happy to be living so long on treatment, but I don’t want the treatment to kill me either. I always thought I’d want to be on chemo and do whatever it takes to prolong my life as long as possible, but quality of life has become something more important to me, and I know that someday down the line, I’ll have to make that choice between treatment or quality of life. When I was on chemo, I never wanted to stop it. Now that I’m off treatment, I never want to go back on. Crazy!! In any case, I have been feeling better, minus the shortness of breath, and am getting these appointments done! I’ll write again when I find anything out from the echocardiogram. My dad is coming to visit for a couple of weeks in a couple of weeks, so that will keep my scanxiety at bay till my upcoming scan the first week of May.
My son came home from deployment overseas just in time for Easter. He got to come home in an earlier group because he was worried about me after the pulmonary embolisms. It was so good to see him home safe and sound and to be able to reassure him I am doing fine! I am feeling good about this first scan after coming off chemo and immuno. Hopeful this scan is just the first of many while on this chemo break!! I got a tshirt that reads: In my healing era. Thought it was appropriate! I am in it, I am going to thoroughly enjoy it, and I’m going to hope that it lasts a long time! Hope everyone had a nice Easter! Stay safe and healthy!