Faith, Hope and Love

Warning: This is going to be a religious post. It is about what has been on my mind as I approach my first scan in two weeks. When I first started going to Adoration every Tuesday, I read something about handing your problems and worries over to God. This reminded me of when I left a basket on my door when I was teaching so that my students could write down their worries and leave their worries at the door. So, I decided to draw my hands and the hands of Jesus, and wrote all my worries scattered all over the page, handing everything that was stressing me out over to the Lord. It was such a relief and weight off my shoulders. Similarly, in Adoration last week, I decided to draw the same hands with just one worry that I was handing over to God: Cancer. It too, has been a relief and a weight off my shoulders. I need to keep my eye on God and not on my symptoms or my cancer.

When I battled cancer the first time, I relied on faith. I had a lot of faith, and I know it is what got me through it. In the end, I thought how awesome it was in my life that I could see God testing my faith. I felt lucky to have experienced it. I thought about Abraham and Isaac, and I thought it was awesome to see my faith being tested and that I had come out a survivor.

Then, cancer came back, and with a worse prognosis this time. I wondered how much more faith I needed and why it needed to be tested again. And now I know why. When I fought the first time, my word was “faith.” I wondered why “hope” was used in cancer mantras. I could not understand having “hope” or why hope was so important. But now I understand it. It is all I have to rely on. My word this time is “hope.” I have learned the importance of faith and hope, and I now understand why the greatest of these is love. I have felt such love from my family and friends, and I know how important their support is in a cancer battle. And I also understand how important is the love of God. It is the greatest thing in my fight. I have to give my cancer to God, in exchange for His love, and I have to thoroughly believe that I am healed, throughout the ups and downs of my battle this time, because God can work miracles. And that is my only hope. I have to expect a miracle, like my wise grandma first told me when I was a teenager. So, as my first scan approaches, I am looking forward, and I am looking up.

Next week is my week off, but I will try to blog about the week next Friday. Then, my scan on the 9th and my results by that next Thursday. 😬🤞🏻🙏🏻😇