Prioritizing Rest

This week was not such a great week, not because of chemo symptoms but because I was sick pretty much the whole week. I had a head cold that made me miserable enough to forget all about any chemo symptoms I might have been having. I am feeling better today, just in time for chemo today. I am checked into chemo, waiting for my meds to arrive. It will be my last chemo for now since I will be dropping chemo and just having immunotherapy next cycle. My chemo is now flowing, and I am feeling good. I am feeling strong and positive. I want this sucker to shrink to the size of nothingness, and now I dare to hope that happens. I had these spots for two years without them growing, so I am now wondering if I get them down to nothing again, and I keep working out, if I can keep it from growing again for a while. Or did something activate its growth, and now it will never stop wanting to grow?? Just me thinking about things as I want this to disappear or be well-controlled for a long time. I am happy just living this life, I am living with more peace and self care, and I want to believe in a miracle and that I am cured, at least for a while. Or until this new universal cure for cancer, another immunotherapy, becomes available??!! I am full of hope lately, I guess. And while I was scared to hope for a long time, I now understand hope better and like living with hope. Hope is important even, and especially, with metastatic cancer. Next week is my week off, and then I will meet with the doctor and begin the next cycle of treatment. Crossing my fingers and saying my prayers that my cancer stays controlled or keeps shrinking once I stop chemo and just stay on immunotherapy. I am excited that I will only have to drive into Walter Reed every other week now! It takes at least an hour and a half but more likely two hours to get in every time. Ugh!! I had a doctor once tell me that people will drive two hours to a mall but not two hours for their health (good point!), so I won’t complain, but it will be nice not having to make the drive every week now, and I will enjoy it while it lasts! Will update again next Friday. Hoping my ankles will not swell up again this week!! And, in the meantime, I will be busy drinking water … ugh … because my nurse can tell I am not drinking nearly enough. 😢