Deep Thoughts

Today, I had my bone scan. While I was laying on the machine, I had a lot of alone time to think. I thought about how I am doing really well, thanks to my CT scan results. I am focused on the present and just living my life. I’m feeling so grateful, thankful and blessed to be able to just live right now. But the scan today did give me some anxiety. The guy who was helping me and gave me the tracers told me that they might need pictures if they find an area that would need extra pictures. And … they needed more pictures of my chest area. So, as I was laying there, I was a little nervous because this is the first time I am confronting that this spot on my sternum might actually be cancer. I always knew it was a possibility, but the only way we’d know for sure would be to biopsy it, and that hasn’t happened, so I kind of just feel like it isn’t cancer, simply because I don’t want it to be. I mean, one spot (in my lungs) is better than two (in my lungs and in my sternum), right? Maybe it doesn’t even matter with metastatic cancer?? I’ve just heard that cancer in the bones is very painful, so I don’t want it to be in my sternum. The good news is that, in any case, it hasn’t grown and has remained stable. I should have the results tomorrow or Monday, so I’ll post again with the results when I get them.

In the meantime, my nails have completely healed from whatever was going on with them, and my hair is really growing still! It is at the point where I actually like it. It is starting to grow over my ears and hang off the back of my neck! It parts to the side (the opposite side I usually part it on, of course!) kind of stylishly!

Well, everyone, stay safe and healthy, and, hopefully, I will be writing with some results tomorrow.