Getting Real

I don’t like to complain when I am sick, but I do want to keep it real. I have been blessed with a fairly easy cancer journey so far both of my journeys. I write a lot about my good days and staying positive and going through this gracefully, so I wanted you to see what cancer and treatment looks like on my bad days, too. Yesterday, I thought I was on my death bed or that I had gotten the CoVID. In actuality, my Vitamin D was finally up (yay!), so I could start my bone strengthener med. Luckily, I had my favorite nurse. She is very thorough and explained that I might feel muscle/joint/bone aches the next day, that I might feel as if I had worked out a little too much. I woke up in the middle of the night and could not catch my breath or breathe deeply without sharp pains. I wondered if I was having a heart attack or what was going on. I took my inhaler, and that seemed to help, so I fell back asleep. I woke up, and every bone, muscle and joint in my body ached — you know, like when you work out too hard and the next day you question whether you even had that muscle before because you never noticed it. I was so weak, I could hardly walk down to the couch, and once I was on the couch, I had a really hard time getting up, so I just didn’t … all day. I was in and out of sleep all day. I had a headache, nausea, trouble breathing, and all this weakness, like I had the flu. My temperature was elevated, and I felt like I had a fever, but it never got that high. When Tom got home and could bring me something, I asked for Advil and heartburn medicine. It helped, and by the end of the night, my weakness was improving, and my head cleared up. I was on the mend, which I couldn’t believe because that was the sickest I have ever felt, and I felt so sick, I didn’t think I’d recover. So, I am ecstatic today that I feel better — not 100 percent, but much better. And I only have to have this medicine once a month! Ugh. My nurse said I shouldn’t feel anything the subsequent times. I sure hope not! Now, aren’t you glad I don’t normally complain?! Because I’m pretty good at it when I do! Going to take it easy for the rest of the day. Saturdays are usually my worst days. So, I won’t push it. Going to hydrate all day and sit at the table instead of getting sucked into the couch so I can be somewhat productive.

Oh, on another note, I have a full head of hair now! I love it! I’ve been able to go out without wigs and caps, and it feels great! Unfortunately, I have been losing a lot of hair (and 1/2 my eyebrows again), so I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep it. Was really liking the idea of short hair for the summer instead of hot, itchy wigs and caps, but we’ll see?? I will probably lose it because I was hopeful and ordered a few cute barrettes from J Crew to make me feel more feminine. They arrived yesterday, and they’re bigger and heavier than I anticipated, so they fall right out of my little locks. So, hopefully, my hair will keep growing. Time will tell.

Well, enjoy the rest of your weekend, stay safe, and stay healthy! Will write again from chemo on Thursday! Hopefully, I am on the upswing again till then!