Counting My Blessings
This week, I am focused on the things that matter: No. 1, my family. I visited my dad in Wisconsin and then flew back home with him. He is visiting us for the week. I am feeling healthy and happy. I told my oncologist about the pain in my ribs, which got pretty bad recently. It ended up hurting to breathe, and I was in constant pain, especially when sitting up or laying down. My oncologist said it is muscle spasms, which makes sense to me since my neck and shoulders (which are feeling MUCH better) were muscle spasms, as well. He prescribed a muscle relaxer, and my ribs are feeling much better, too. Still in pain when I sleep and roll over onto my ribs, but the pain is gone throughout the day. So, more stretches, heat and massages in my future — no problem! I am feeling great and am not thinking about cancer. Just living my life, going day by day trying to concentrate on what really matters.
I got to see my grandma in Wisconsin. It was so great to spend time with her after two years. When she said goodbye, she said, “See you in Heaven.” I was taken aback and too emotional to say anything. What I really wanted to say was, “I’ll be waiting for you.” She sent me a card and said it again. We’ve always had a mantra between us: Expect a Miracle. And I am now. Our new one will be See You in Heaven. It made me think about Heaven and dying, so I finally started working on my funeral plans. Not that I think I am going to die anytime soon, but I am just preparing and getting my affairs in order.
Something else that got me pretty emotional was seeing my dad in a tshirt that I had given him. It reads: Real Men Wear Pink. My dad would NEVER wear pink. But here he was, wearing the gray tshirt with pink block letters in caps, supporting me.
Oh, and my oncologist took me off the IV nausea meds that make me so sleepy and out of it and gave it to me in pill form, so I can take it as needed instead. It was GREAT not being so tired during and after chemo this week. I mostly just have pain in my knee joints from chemo this week, so I’m having to go up stairs and get up slowly, but I’ll take it if that’s the worst that comes out of it this week. Had some nausea, but I controlled it with my meds.
Will talk to my oncologist again in a couple of weeks, and I don’t know when and don’t care when my next scan will be for once! Usually, I am looking forward, anxious for the next scan, but I am happy that I will just be able to enjoy the summer worry-free! I will see family I haven’t seen since Covid hit, and I’m sure I will start seeing friends again, as well, and that will be the best medicine for me. Will write again from chemo in a week and a half. I will be able to write from there again since I’m actually able to stay awake the whole time now!
Happy Memorial Day to everyone!