This Momma is Tired!
I am finally feeling better today. I needed a little rest after chemo and a little attitude adjustment. I think what I was trying to say in my last post is that I’m just really tired lately after fighting resting during the couple of days after chemo that I probably need to rest and renew. It’s really a struggle for me to rest when I have things to do or that I want to do! Moms can’t rest! When we’re sick, we have to get things done and take care of kids and responsibilities anyway. It’s just what we do. And chemo is kind of like that for me. I just keep trying to get things done and keep taking care of everyone else that I don’t even realize I’m drowning. And this momma needs a rest! And, for the first time since I started chemo again in 2019, I took three naps in the past 48 hours! It felt good, after all. And I’m trying to not feel too guilty about them. I was kind of fighting with myself not to get down about having to lay around a bit and about taking naps. But, I did it, and it felt good. And I feel good. Better for it. I didn’t have any nausea the few days after chemo this weekend. I was achy and tired, but it was great not to have the nausea. So, I think there might be something to my theory. I might ask the nurse to run my immunotherapy over an hour if she plans to run it over 1/2 hour. Sitting there for an extra 1/2 hour is worth three fewer days of nausea after Chemo Day. I don’t know how moms with little kids do this or women who work full time. They’re amazing! But when you have cancer, you just have to do. That’s where the strength comes in. But I’m slowly learning that I NEED to rest and recover or replenish, as well.
I was kind of in a funk at my last chemo appt. It’s tiring, especially with an hour drive there and back. But when I got home, I had a great big, heavy box on my doorstep from a wonderful organization that provides TONS of great products for patients going through cancer. It made my day! I will try to post about it tomorrow for those of you who are undergoing treatment and those of you who are looking for great care packages for cancer patients. I get asked a lot what to put in cancer care packages, so I’ll post about them tomorrow or later this week.
I’m having some pain in the right side of my chest and in my back directly behind the chest pain. I’ve been having issues with the right side of my chest for a while. I think it’s scar tissue and changes from surgery. And it’s probably from radiation, the gift that keeps giving, according to my surgeon! There were some changes on my last CT scan there, scar tissue or something not to be concerned with. So, trying not to worry ahead of my next scan. But every time I have a pain somewhere, my mind still jumps to wondering if my cancer is back. I’m also having an annoying pain in my ear, like I have an ear infection, which I haven’t had since I was a child! Google says it could be a tumor (so I’m worrying!) WHY do I keep Googling every time I have a pain … ugh … but it’s most likely from grinding my teeth at night. Will keep an eye on things. Just maybe getting a little scanxiety already since my next scan will be coming up in a month. And time is just moving too quickly lately! Soon my youngest daughter will be graduating!!
Anyway, feeling good now after a few typically blah days after chemo. I ran yesterday for the first time in a long time, and even though I am SORE today, and even though it was only a mile, it felt great. I’m in crunch time to lose some of this stubborn chemo weight before the pool opens in just a couple of months!! Wanted to get back to swimming by April, but might push that back to May now?!
I will be busy the next couple of weeks till my next chemo appt. I have a doctor appt. this Thursday, I think, with my oncologist. Will update if I learn anything new, but it should just be a quick check-in, and we’ll get my next scans set up. Stay safe and healthy, everyone!