Holding Onto Hope

Olivia Newton John always inspired hope in me. She was a metastatic breast cancer thriver. She was so inspirational with her positive attitude and grace in fighting her battle. She was so full of life that it is hard to believe she is gone. Part of me feels like my hope is gone. As long as she was living and fighting, I could too. She was able to thrive so long with metastatic cancer, but her cancer came back. It makes me wonder when mine will come back. I wrestled with feeling like my hope was deflated yesterday.  But I will continue to hold onto the hope that she has inspired. Hope is so essential in this journey. I just hate seeing those who I look up to who are fighting metastatic cancer die. It makes me question everything, and I have a lot of survivor’s guilt. But, I just need to focus on being thankful, grateful and blessed for each day I get and live each day focused on one day at a time. I’m getting pretty anxious already about my next scan, and it hasn’t even been ordered yet. I just know that everything could change with just one scan, and I am living beyond expectancies now, so it could be any time now. But, for now, I’m thriving with metastatic breast cancer, just like Olivia did. And I’m going to continue being inspired by her legacy of hope and positivity.