Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow
What a two weeks it has been! I feel like I’ve been through the wringer! Lots of ups and downs in my weeks and lots of ups and downs in how I’ve been feeling emotionally and physically. I got the dreaded Zometa infusion last time at chemo, and it took me down for a day over the weekend. Every muscle and joint in my body ached. Then, this weekend, I got my Covid booster and flu shot, and I had the same reaction. And now I’m back at chemo on a Monday so I can fly to my friend’s memorial service this weekend. Attending funerals when you have a terminal illness is always hard. This one is really going to get me. He was a good friend, a good person, someone my age, and it was unexpected. Beyond that, I thought I was going to die before him. When he came with a group of my friends to Maryland to see me when I was first diagnosed with metastatic cancer, I said goodbye to him and all my friends, thinking it would be the last time I might see them. I had no idea I was saying goodbye to him because he was going to die before me. I was prepared to die before him, before my friends, but I was not prepared for this.
I have never liked being an active participant in Facebook groups with other cancer patients. I find they can be gloomy, negative and go where I don’t want to go yet. I follow them, though, because they have good information. Lately, I’ve been participating more, answering people’s questions. I’m a “longtimer” now, and I’ve found my answers have been giving people hope, and it feels amazing to be able to give that to people because hope is all we have.
The Wellness House is hosting Sit and Knits for a couple of months! I am so happy about this. I find knitting to be so therapeutic. I knit through raising my kids, and I had a notions bag that read: I knit so I don’t kill people! 🤪 I love being with other people who are going through what I’m going through, whether we talk about cancer or other things, and doing something I like at the same time. Focusing on something I’m doing, especially knitting, helps me relax and open up. I’m looking forward to getting to know some people who know and understand what I’m going through. And I can work on some Christmas gifts at the same time!
I also learned from the Wellness House about a Respite Retreat cancer patients and their caregivers can sign up for here. It is a day of massage, Reiki, facials, meditation, journaling, yoga and art therapy. Sounded wonderful, so I signed us up for the November retreat. We’re on the waitlist, but hopefully it works out.
Well, I will write from chemo in two weeks! Stay safe and healthy, everyone!!