Getting My Life Back
I had a great doctor appt. with my oncologist yesterday! She said my bloodwork, scans and everything else looks great. My Vitamin D level is now back up to where it should be. Icing on the cake! So, we decided to keep me off treatment for now. I don’t have a genetic propensity for pulmonary embolisms, and none showed up on my scan, so she’ll order another scan for them in November, and if it’s clear, I’ll probably go off of the blood thinner! Yay!! She reassured me everything should be fine with my flight so long as I don’t miss a dose of the blood thinner and I hydrate well. Then, I’ll have my next PET scan in November, or after the holidays, depending on how I feel, whether I have any symptoms, whether I’m worried and wondering, or whether I’d rather postpone a scan till after the holidays. I really feel like my oncologist and I are in this together and that she’ll always err on the side of caution. She said I probably feel like I have my life back, and I really do!! What a gift and a blessing! I have so much energy back, and I’m getting things done again! Feels awesome! I went to my intro to pilates class this morning. It felt great, but it probably wasn’t my best decision two days after surgery. I’ll have to take it easy the rest of the day.
Regarding feeling like I have my life back-- I am so much more hopeful after this scan. I feel like I can beat this metastatic cancer. I know that is completely unrealistic, but why not believe it? I truly feel a positive attitude and hope can only help.
I love this saying above: Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create. I have definitely learned this through cancer. It hasn’t been an easy lesson for me to learn. It’s hard for me to give up control of things and to try to accept something I can’t control, like cancer. But I am learning to let go and let God, as my grandmother always told me. I am learning to shift my worrying about it to focus on what I can create. I am going to live the heck out of the next six months and concentrate on my writing, on creating the life I want and the stories I want. I have a lot of them in my head that I want to write before I die!! I focused a lot on creating things and trying new things for quite a while, and I realized I was getting stressed about doing fun things! I realized I was doing it to try to get as much in as I could before I die. I’m putting that phase aside and just concentrating on one thing I want to accomplish before I die: my writing. I am also learning Italian for our trip overseas this fall. It’s so similar to Spanish that I think I’ll be able to understand a lot, but now I have a goal to learn Italian before I die. I feel like if I still have goals, I have an infinite point in time to keep living for.
Well, I’m not sure when I’ll write again. I’ll try to update every couple of weeks, but I’m not sure there will be much to update about until August! When I started this blog, I could only hope to be at this point where I can just live my life again. Happy Mother’s Day to all my supporters who are mothers! I am looking forward to celebrating with mimosas and moos (a bunch of baby cows!!). I will probably be the only mom there without any of her kids! Although, I am trying to talk my 21 year old into going with me! 🍾🥂🐄 Stay safe and healthy, Mommas and everyone! Cheers to motherhood and another clear scan!!