Thankful and Grateful

“I am going to cry,” said my primary care doctor the other day, “but I think that when you have cancer, you need to have everything going for you — your spirituality, exercise, and a positive attitude.” He said this with tears in his eyes just before he left the room after learning that I have metastatic breast cancer. I couldn’t agree with him more. And I must have everything going for me because my scan came back with the best possible outcome. My cancer SHRUNK!!! The three lesions in my right lung shrunk, and the spot in my sternum remained stable, so they are not sure yet whether or not it is cancer. I am feeling so happy and thankful, but I have a bit of survivor’s guilt in that I had a 50/50 shot of this regimen working, and I am feeling like why am I so lucky? I know it could easily have gone the other way. I really needed a win this first scan. I know I need to stay grounded despite this elation because with metastatic cancer, it is possible cancer is elsewhere in my body, and it could start growing at some point. But for now, it is smaller, and I now have hope for more years rather than months! I will stay on this regimen for two more cycles, and then we will probably drop the Chemo and just stick with the immunotherapy. Thank you all, and thank God, for the prayers and the support. I know that I am one lucky girl for this outcome and for all of you and your support. Tom and I celebrated last night. We had a date night. I felt it would be a good night to celebrate or a good night to talk about options, if necessary. It ended up being a night to celebrate. We went to a wine tasting and for a walk under the lights at the sculpture gardens. I felt full of life in the chilly, refreshing air, and I am full of gratitude as I go into the next few months of just living and not worrying. It will allow me to concentrate on Tom’s upcoming scan in January. For now, life is good!