Celebrate Good Times, C'mon!🕺💃🕺💃

Today, I had a doctor visit with my oncologist. I love these days that come once a month, at the start of each cycle, because I can learn more information. I always like to know what is the next step — I like to be prepared. I had an excellent appt. with my doctor. I asked lots of questions about future scenarios and treatments, everything that has been on my mind since diagnosis, and she took the time to answer all of them. And I realized that I was, again, living in the future and not just enjoying the present moment of everything being stable. She reassured me that there are options if my current Chemo and immunotherapy stop working, or when it stops working, and I felt good about that. So, I am going to try and relax and enjoy the fact that everything has been fine for three scans now and that everything is stable. I think I can finally relax into that idea.

And I have started to celebrate each day more — I am enjoying more flowers in the house (usually, I think they’re too much of a splurge), I am using pretty napkins and paper plates I have saved for holidays and special occasions, and I am going to start using a set of fragile dishes I have never used just waiting for a special occasion. I am trying to treat movie nights with my kids and wine time with my husband before dinner as special occasions. And tonight, pizza night, after our long day at WR, I will treat as a special occasion because of the good news from the doctor and the realization that I need to just relax and enjoy and stop worrying about the future so much. I will deal with whatever happens when it happens. I feel confident that my doctor will have all the information I will need when I will need it. I am just watching the calendar too much, and that freaks me out. Especially since these covid days at home seem to be going so quickly. Another month has gone by, and my birthday is coming up next week, so I think that is freaking me out a little as I want to celebrate the heck out of this one because I know how precious they are, but I am worried that I may not live to see another one if I fall into the statistics. But I am not going to go by the statistics. I’ve never liked numbers anyway. I am just going to concentrate on the fact that everything is stable. And that is the best news EVER. Time to celebrate!