Heavenly Encounter
Today at chemo, I was reading Imagine Heaven, a really interesting book a special aunt gave to me that I can’t seem to put down. And as soon as I got settled into my chair in typical fashion — legs up, blanket on, massage and heat coming from my chair — I met a chaplain. (I was sitting right by the hand sanitizing station!) I am not too good at speaking to strangers, but I’m so glad he kept the conversation going despite my feeble attempts to get some words out. My daughter notices and always says that I just nod and smile in social situations. I was doing a lot of that until he started asking about my type of cancer, how I was doing with treatment, etc., and it turns out his mother has metastatic breast cancer, and she has been cancer-free for four years now. It really gave me hope for living with this diagnosis. I hope he comes around again when I am there because he really cares and wants to genuinely know how you’re doing. He’d be a good one to have on the palliative care team. Who knows? Maybe he already works with them.
Anyway, I got my monthly dose of the bone strengthener today. I asked the nurse if I would feel as sick as I did last time this time. She said she gets a lot of emergency calls from people on this drug the first time they take it! That made me feel better, like I’m not the only one who experiences this, I guess! She said that I would probably feel some degree of sick tomorrow but that by the third dose, I shouldn’t feel any reaction. So, I am a little nervous about tomorrow, but I am armed with the Tylenol and Claritin she recommended, and, at least, I am expecting it. It will be a good day to lay around and edit my chapters tomorrow because I finished my novel a few days ago! I am so excited, and it keeps me wanting to live until this thing goes into publication, some day, some way! I have ambitious goals of editing it in a week and then sending it off. It is not the book I want to write; I have a thriller I am going to be starting next. This one is just a sweet romance that was meant for Hallmark when they were accepting open submissions, but I missed the deadline because of my cancer diagnosis and all the testing around the time it closed. In any case, I have accomplished a lifetime goal, so I am feeling really good about that. Like I can die now, and I’ll be happy. But I don’t want to go yet! I have been reading about NDEs in Imagining Heaven, and many of them are asked by Jesus whether they want to stay in heaven or return to earth. I had a heart to heart with God at Adoration this week where I told him he doesn’t have to waste any time bringing me up to heaven because I will just end up telling him I want to come right back!
My birthday was yesterday, and I was thinking about how the doctor said I would be dead within a year if my cancer was acting how triple negative cancer usually acts. I would have been dead by now, right around now, but, instead, my cancer is stable, at least for the next three months. I am so grateful for this bonus past year and any bonus time I get beyond this birthday. I just had a relaxing do-nothing kind of day, which felt great, because I knew I’d be reflecting on the calendar, on that day, on my life, and I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about this birthday. But it was great because I just lived in the moment, and it was a good day.
I can’t remember if I wrote in my last post that my doctor told me she has three triple negative patients right now, including me, and we’re all on the same immunotherapy, but it is only working for me. It humbled me and made me extremely grateful. I really have to count my blessings and be thankful.
Well, we’ll see how tomorrow goes. I may be posting earlier than Thursday if I have a rough time in the next couple of days, but, otherwise, I’ll update you from the Chemo Café again a week from today!
Stay safe, stay healthy, and have a great week!