Sunshine on a Cloudy Day
Today, my dogs were barking and barking at the door. I thought it was Tom and Aleks coming home from Aleks’ cross country practice, so I ignored the door. When the dogs didn’t stop barking, I went and saw a woman standing way back from my entryway. I opened the door and spotted a beautiful base of sunflowers sitting on my porch! They were from two of my good friends, two of my former college roommates. Usually, when those two are together, they are pranking me, but these were such a nice surprise today, especially since my thoughts have been heavy with the weight of my diagnosis lately. I have been reading all about METS patients in my online support group who have all sorts of unpleasant things happening to their bodies. I know everybody is different, everyone’s cancers are different, but I have been thinking about the seriousness of my diagnosis, and I am wondering if the reality of it is just hitting me now. I am frustrated because I am trying to reverse all my negative thoughts, and all this anxiety and fear has taken over. Probably because of my upcoming scans. I am just going to feel all the feels and work through them. But the bright flowers today really cheered me up and put me in a positive frame of mind as I headed up to Chemo today.
I talked to my nurse about the nausea this week, and she said that running the medication faster shouldn’t have created any more sickness this week. And she didn’t think it was because of the humidity. So, there went my ideas. But she gave me a prescription for another antinausea med, so that should hopefully help me this coming week.
Oh, there was a discussion in my group about the chemo drug I am on and how it causes weight gain. So many people have posted that they have gained 30-40 pounds on this drug. So, I feel better knowing it is the chemo and the fatigue from Chemo that prevents me from working out that has caused my weight gain. I have been in the pool every day, and I tread water for an hour yesterday. It felt great to be able to do a physical activity for that long again. Walking, running, and aerobics have become such a frustrating chore for me, so it feels so great to be in the pool again! And while the weight will be hard to get off, it is finally starting to come off! And my hair — found a solution for that too! It is getting longer again, which means it is curls for me again. UGH. I found great wide headbands that just happen to be in style now, so I got a few of them, and they hide all the curls!! Woo hoo! So, I am feeling better about myself this week, even though I am feeling worse about my diagnosis.
Chemo is done running, so I have to sign off for now. Hoping for a week of no nausea!! Will update after my scans and my doctor visits next week.