Three Year Anniversary
This weekend we went to see the sunflowers at Goldpetal Farms in Maryland. We had a fun, full weekend, and we have not had a weekend like this, where we didn’t need to get a thousand things done, in the past seven years, since I was first diagnosed with metastatic cancer. I feel like I’ve been playing catch up with my life since I was diagnosed with cancer. We went to dinner in Little Italy in Baltimore on Friday night, to the sunflower and zinnia farm and then to Running Hare Vineyards for wine slushees on Saturday. And we took my daughter and her friends rafting in the Blue Ridge’s yesterday while we had lunch/dinner with our friends. It was so good to be in the hills out in nature. Did my health some good! I mention all this because I am FINALLY getting organized in my home and life after 7 years, after this diagnosis. I am feeling really lucky that I am getting to enjoy life again after trying to get things in order from our last military move and in case I die in the near future. I used to pride myself on being able to get my house set up within three days of a move. I was so fast at unpacking while the movers unloaded (because I wanted them to take all the empty boxes back with them) that I was once offered a job by the packing company! But cancer takes over life, and a move in the middle of it didn’t help, so I am FINALLY getting my house put together! I am trying to organize and minimalize, and after endless trips to Goodwill and the dump, I think I have a spot for everything and have my house set up how I want it! I am FINALLY getting to my thank you notes from years ago when I received cards and gifts from many of you, so know that if you have given me something, it really meant a lot, and you will be hearing from me soon! I posted this saying today because I feel like I have been living on bonus time since my cancer diagnosis in 2015 and especially since 2019 after my metastatic diagnosis. While I was on Bonus Time, I still thought about cancer a lot. I would think how I didn’t want it to define me, but it was. It does. But now that I am getting organized again and have let go of feeling the need to finish everything I want to before I die, I can just live and enjoy life again, not constantly worried about when my cancer will come back. I still think about it every day, but I am able to just live and enjoy life again. Boy, does your second life begin when you realize you only have one.
In other good news, my oncologist pushed my scan back again. My next one will be in September or October. Again, I’m not sure how I feel about that because I want to catch something as quickly as possible if it comes back, and I’m in the window for it returning, but I am really happy that I don’t have to worry about scanxiety for a couple or few more months. No news is good news!!
I have chemotherapy again on Wednesday, so I’ll write from there. I don’t mean to be negative, but I’m noticing that I am dreading chemo more these days. I know it is lifesaving for me, so I shouldn’t mind it and should be grateful and thankful, but now that I’m back to living again more, it just takes up time I don’t want to give up. And it’s just not as peaceful and nice and relaxing as it was in South Carolina. Maybe it’s just that I have gone for so long. I find it kind of funny when other people ask me, and even nurses ask me, how many treatments I’ve had. I stopped counting a long time ago! And I see no need to keep track. I guess it has been three years this month, actually, not to mention my treatments from the first time around! Three years this month. Wow. I really am lucky, considering I was given a year.
Well, on that note, I will sign off! Making up for this weekend’s fun by cleaning today! Stay safe and healthy, everyone!