Plugging Along

I chose this picture today because I am busy and happy and have been living my days trying not to think about cancer. I am feeling great other than the fatigue. I am participating in this study, and every day, I am asked to rate my fatigue level. I always say mild because I think it is mild compared to other symptoms I could be having and because it’s not bad compared to what others go through. I know it could be worse! But I think it is probably moderate. It does interfere with daily tasks. I have to get everything done in the morning because I am physically drained in the afternoons. I can gauge it by how tired I get going up and down my one or two sets of stairs. In the mornings, I can run up the stairs, by the afternoon, I am breathless, and by evening, I am in pain and take the stairs so slowly while holding onto the railing. For the last couple years years, I was frustrated by not being able to get everything done that I wanted to. I’d get so frustrated, I refused to nap — like TAKE THAT CHEMO, but the only one suffering from that mindset was me. I’ve learned to be more accepting of the fatigue now. I’ll nap and rest, despite feeling guilty about it and fearing I‘ll appear lazy, and I’ve accepted that I might only get one or two big things on my list accomplished every morning. I am learning I just have to take things at my pace. So, life is slowing down now that the kids aren’t around, and I’m learning to slow down. And I’m liking it. I’m so thankful and grateful for this relatively easy chemo and immuno and am so thankful and grateful it is still working! It has been easy to live with metastatic cancer on this regimen. I am just feeling so thankful, grateful and blessed lately. I will meet with my oncologist next week. If I learn anything at my appt., I’ll update. Otherwise, I’m just going to keep on living and being grateful, and I’ll write again from chemo in two weeks. Stay safe and healthy, everyone!