That Thing With Feathers

UPDATE: My dad passed away last night at 5:15. He had a severe brain hemorrhage the night before. My sister, my aunt and I were with him when he passed, and it was very peaceful, which was a blessing. My dad was a huge support to me in my cancer journey and will be greatly missed.

I missed my port flush this week because I flew out to be with my dad, who is in the hospital fighting a rare, severe brain infection. He has been on a breathing tube for the past 16 days and had a tracheostomy and a feeding tube placed today.

My cancer has been the furthest thing from my mind for weeks, but the familiar need for hope has been ever present lately. When I was fighting cancer, I used to struggle understanding the word “hope” – see my previous posts! But then, once I understood what “hope” really means, I’ve actually embraced the word as one of my words on my cancer journey. And now, as I look at my dad lying on his hospital bed, sleeping peacefully with a long recovery road and an uncertain future ahead of him, I am relying on hope once again.

I love this poem, “Hope” by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer. I don’t know how Dad’s journey will go or end or what will happen along the way – much like I don’t know how my cancer journey will go from here or end, but I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, just like my dad. He has been a huge support to me on my cancer journey, and I will try to be the same for him. One step at a time … one day at a time.

In the meantime, I will have to figure out how I am going to get this port flushed from another state. I'll update again when I figure it out. In the meantime, stay safe, stay healthy, and keep the hope, everyone.